strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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