porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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