Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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