dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Success! We fucked roommates!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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