What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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