never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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