Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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