I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
