You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
