He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
