I wanna bring you to show and tell
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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