i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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