i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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