i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
