i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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