drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
