is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
