I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
