okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
