at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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