I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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