we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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