Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
