Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
no. you can't hotbox the world.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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