he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
