you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
