My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
