I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
