i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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