kristin has been a bad kristin
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
