Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't turn off my feet"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
