there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
