party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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