brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize