none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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