We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
