it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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