Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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