first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
