mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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