U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
