So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I puked a lego.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
