For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
