yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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