STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
