ugly people sure do ruin things
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
