you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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