Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
