Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
