so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
