Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i came on her dog
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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