I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
