hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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