BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
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