maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
