my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
