Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
