bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
my poor anus
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
