This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
birth control should be required to get into college
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
