are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
