he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
