Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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