as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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